Thursday, July 01, 2004

This is good

Yesterday was the first day I blogged and I was all caught up in the idea of blogging in and of itself. It was all fluffy and ethereal, all very academic. Looking back at my posts from today, I'm seeing a change. I notice myself falling into good blogging form: writing some horribly self-centered crap then violently defending myself against friends and would-be detractors.

This came much more quickly than expected and with sentences that, dare I say it, are so staccatto as to rival my days as a trumpet player in middle school jazz band.

I'll Dawson's Creek you

Same friend, though more friend in title now--aquaintance really, seems to have been rather illuminated by this infant blog of mine.

Quoth Brit: "It always amazes me how different english and american people write . . . Aye, americans are much more subject to prose-like sentences, sort of a literary version of Dawsons Creek.."

I'll try to make my sentenses more terse. Better yet I'll throw all my posts into the Hemingway Novel generator. While I'm working on that here's a list of rambling ass brits:

Joseph Conrad (slight deduction for being Eastern European by birth)
Oscar Wilde (bonus points for writing rambling PLAYS)
Shakespeare (Ultra bonus points for writing rambling plays in iambic pentameter)

more to come as I think of them

Of Metabloggics

Found this while trying to explain what a blog was to a British friend. Poor wretch had no idea. Apparently their politicians like to individualize themselves based on issues and platforms rather than the trendy way they fundraise. . . neanderthals.

blog

n.
Short for weblog.
A meandering, blatantly uninteresting online diary that gives the author the illusion that people are interested in their stupid, pathetic life. Consists of such riveting entries as "homework sucks" and "I slept until noon today."

v. intr.
The act of posting to a weblog.

Courtesy of www.urbandictionary.com

And yes, having nothing else in my life, I've been talking blogs with people.

Wednesday, June 30, 2004

Hmmm

I'm cripplingly narcissistic and a horrible speller so I've been reading my posts over and over compulsively. I need to clear the air. The last entry was too snotty and punk rock. I'm not nearly that thoughtful or tortured a soul. It's a big goddamned front. I was playing at being overtly cynical because secretly I feel so giddily optimistic about where this blogging thing could take me. Artistically.

I imagine myself sitting down at a coffee shop somewhere while I pour over the constructive comments posted about my blog and, by extension, myself. The creative inspiration literally gushes out of me. This upwelling causes quite a commotion and I'm asked to leave. I cross the street to another coffee shop where I bravely churn out page after page of my novel, taking breaks only to finish my short stories and order more scones.

I'm immediately the talk of the goddamned town--all towns really. And then the imagining ends more or less and a blithe feeling of contentment takes it's place.

This is what blogging seems to do for me and it's awesome and I feel I'm definitely going places. Though once again in the interest of veracity, the delusions aren't new, just more frequent.


Oh and some kid told me my blog title sucks, so I'm going to change it. The first couple of words in this post should do.

'Kid' being a term I use for people whose opinions I respect and who have at one time or another criticized myself or my actions.

I just realized something

Now that I've turned my full attention to blogging, concentrated the meat of my intellectual power directly at it's core, then turned that meat back inward upon itself, I've reached a startling conclusion.

I'm going backwards. I'll ellaborate.

I had an idea for a novel once, got the juices of the aforementioned brain-meat really flowing. Had it all stored up in my head, even wrote some of the important stuff down. It was going to be huge, had just read a bunch of Gabriel Garcia Marquez (LONG before Oprah!), it was gonna be massive. And it hasn't gone anywhere since. I had a tough time getting started, that was the problem. There was just too much to think about, I couldn't break it down.

So I backed off, decided to take it easy. I would start with short stories. And start I did, started roughly a dozen. Started some at the beginning, some at the end, some diabolically in the middle. I took those little morsels of story and incubated them until they were totally fleshed out--thickening them up without ever spreading them out to encompass a beginning middle and end. Vignettes are basically what I had, though even vignettes do something usually--the ones that are thought to have literary merit. So what I had were vignettes crystalized to the epitome of vignettehood and obviously, as stories they suck. I liked all the ideas well enough, I just couldn't finish. I'll let the Freudians pick me over for that overtly sexual symbolism, whatever. I guess that little vignette about vignettes had a beginning middle and end . . . and wasn't 12 pages long and dripping with angst.

Back on point I haven't written anything in a long ass time, probably because of this vignette thing.

Now I'm blogging, and that's that.



Oh and mountain-friend just reminded me that our high school English teacher told us there's no reason to use more than 3 periods in an ellipse.

Get out your checkbooks . . .

My friend from the mountain thinks "metabloggical" might be a new word. So I'm copyrighting it. Anything blog related gets lapped up like so much Gravy Train by so many pitbulls. Hopefully I just found my niche for reaping blog-related profits and this whole gruesome charade can end.

Be honest, like the recording industry and the film guys tell you, if you use my word, pay for it:

...................... well I can't seem to figure out how to put a paypal donaton link in this thing . . . foiled

I put it off as long as I could . . .

Generally speaking if I'm not the first to do something then I don't like to do it at all. This is true of just about everything in my life that falls into the category of the zeitgeisty. Right, and if it's zeitgeist I couldn't be the first, you're right, go to hell.

I tried to keep a journal once, and failed. Always thought an online journal would be nice, as I spend most of my life on or near a computer, but doing anything constructive with a computer seems like a chore when all you do falls under passive and inane online consumerism or videogaming.

Then when Howard Dean made millions for saying nothing and giant media conglomerates started allowing their underlings to do the same that pretty much killed my desire to blog--and I also HATE that term.

By and by my constitution was rocked by the knowledge that a friend who lives at the foot of a mountain with 40 year old phone lines and an AOL dialup account has his own blog. If you knew anything AT ALL about me you'd realize that I decided I needed a blog too and fast.

Keeping up with most people (i.e. those goddamned Joneses) is pointless for it's impossibility, but I've developed a deep need to at least keep up with the Kromers (my family FINALLY got satalite a scant few months before they; my parents live only a few miles closer to civilization at the foot of a totally different mountain).

Luckily I already technically HAD a blog as I had signed up for one in the hopes of getting a free gmail account or something--this one actually.

It will probably be a lot of nothing: existential dread and the horrors of having a job that may be rapidly turning into a career . . . and probably some metabloggical ramblings on the nature of blog qua blog . . . . oh yeah, that sounds nice